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The adventures of a little girl all grown up... [entries|friends|calendar]

Allie // l o v e s // Noah
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[Thu Aug 17th, 2006 8:47pm ]
If there was a religion of sorts, and I had to tell you how humans made their way to earth, it would go like this:

in the begining, there was nothing at all but the moon and the sun. And the moon wanted to come out during the day, but there was something much brighter that seemed to fill up all those hours. The moon grew hungry, thinner and thinner, until she was just a slice of herself, and her tips were as sharp as a knife. By accident, because that is the way most things do happen, she poked a hole in the night and out spilled a million stars, like a fountain of tears.

Horrified, the moon tried to swallow them up. And sometimes this worked, because she got fatter and rounder. But mostly it didn't because there was just so many. The stars kept coming, until they made the sky so bright that the sun got jealous. He invited the stars to his side of the world, where it was always bright. What he didn't tell them, though, was that in the daytime, they'd never be seen. So the stupid ones leaped from the sky to the ground, and they froze under the weight of their own foolishness.

The moon did her best. She carved each of these blocks of sorrow into a man or a woman. She spend the rest of her time watching out so that her other stars wouldn't fall. She spend the rest of her time holding on to whatever scraps she had left.
1 fell for meLove me??

[Thu Mar 23rd, 2006 11:23pm ]
I'll call this False hope take 568,345,276,877,546,000

It doesnt make sense, i know Sar, i know...:-/
2 fell for meLove me??

[Sun Dec 25th, 2005 10:42pm ]
[ mood | lonely ]

so i guess everyone gets one of these entries once in their life...

im lonely. and not just lonely where its like okay i need some action and ill get over it. Im full fledged lonely. and i think what makes it harder is that when i think about my future i cant really see myself being comfortable or happy with anyone but this one person. Now this one person isn't the best of cantidates but i love him with all my effin heart. Sadly this person gives me the ups and the downs like a women in menopause going through hot flashes. Now dont get me wrong ive definately tried to forget about him. Sometimes I really thought it was the end but everytime i picked up my courage to move on he must have a sixth sense because thats always when he calls.

Here's the point of it all. No call on Christmas. (not to mention the period of not speaking also incuded my birthday which he never even acknowledged). Now im not saying that this is a reason to go up in arms and freak out because i know its not. but im just so sick of playing his games. Ive been playing these same games with him since i was 15 years old. five years later you would think we would either grow up or squash what isnt there. But we wont and we dont. We continue playing these games. Im done with the games. He's not doing much more with his life then he is now and i have 2 and a half years left of school. I dont want to be playing these im with you im not with you games until i graduate from college. I want to spend my life with him and im sorry if that sounds wrong and i seem too young to be talking about this, but when i tell you thats all i really wanted for christmas was to lay down and fall asleep next to him. I wouldnt have cared if i got anything else. Nothing else matters when im in his arms and thats where i want to be.

So im up thinking about all this hoping hell call eventually but i might as well go to sleep. I dont want to say i give up but in some ways i do. Some ways i want to continue looking for "the right one" but Ive tried almost every time of guy there is out there and it makes me happy for periods of time but the minute he comes into my mind, bam the other guy is nothing to me and just as easily as i tried to forget him, he comes back 30 times stronger. and in the end they only make me realize how made we are for each other. how we can adapt for each other, how we want to adapt and be there for each other. (when we want to) How i would be 20 minutes late for work for him and not be an ounce angry. How i would drop everything im doing and be there for him if he asked. How his and my family get along, talk and support the other. and most important how even when we go for months without talkin when we do talk its like there was no time in between. that star still and always will shine in my eye for him as i know in just the right light (haha) his still shines for me

another christmas wasted on hoping and waiting...
maybe by christmas 06 ill have better luck :-/

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[Thu Oct 6th, 2005 11:14am ]
list 10 things that bring you a moment of joy & tag six friends to do the same.

1. Cuddling in his bed
2. Random Text messages at 3am
3. His laughter
4. Being with my girls
5. texting my lilkid and just knowing shes always there
6. knowing that my work will eventually pay off
7. the knowledge that i will see my work crew soon
8. Falling asleep in his arms after a rough day
9. Kisses on the forehead after he calls me sweetheart
10. the color orange.

I tag: Sarah, Kendall, Megan, Andrew, Rene, Laura
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[Wed Oct 5th, 2005 7:45am ]
why after almost 6 months now am i missin his phone calls the random visits that i could be making. The cuddling in his bed when my mom thinks im in Miami. The things we had in common. The smiles that i never understand why but were always there. The best friend that i always wanted. I know im the last person he wants to hear from but after all this time do i email him and just ask him why? why he all of a sudden stopped talking to me and sent my heart back to me in a box marked "over"? He never answered my emails when things first ended so should i waste my time and email him now?

hmm i dont know what to do. my mind is racing.
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my room on a "normal" saturday night.... [Sun Sep 25th, 2005 1:54pm ]
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